Pilot

Two weeks back in Penn State and far too long since I have posted. My time back has been awesome so far, after the summer, its nice to get back to cooler weather and reconnect with some of my favorite people. There's just nothing like the freedom of college, it's invigorating.

Colony in Space

A lot of things have happened recently so I think I'll just put up a few at a time.
First I ran into an old friend of sorts last week. He was always like a mentor to me, but when he left Philadelphia for Florida last year, he left on somewhat awkward terms. So I was a bit hesitant at first to accept the invitation to dinner, but I am glad that I did. We met up and reminisced about old times while discussing the new. Then we went to our masonic meeting and it was almost as if things never changed. All in all I'm glad I decided to accept the invitation, just goes to show that you should always try to take risks in life, you'll always learn something from them.

The Daleks

Haven't had much time to write lately, must work on that, been busy with work and ebay sales mostly. I'll try to write again soon, sorry for the delay...

Father's Day

I wrote this post a while back but I thought that this would be the appropriate time to post it.
I have never gotten along with my father, and as far as I am concerned, he has never been a father to me. I won't go into the reasons, in fact I've never really told anyone why (well one person but she knows who she is). And to be entirely honest I don't get along with my paternal grandfather either.
My maternal grandfather sounded like a great man, but he unfortunately died before I was even a thought, cancer claimed his life back when my mother was only 7.
But throughout my life I have had several surrogate father like figures.
The first was an elderly man, and my next door neighbor for the first 15 or so years of my life. He was a little Italian man, and one of the nicest people that you would ever want to meet. He taught me many life lessons, probably more than he ever knew, he was truly a friend to me, and always will be. Sadly around the time I was 16 he had a heart attack, and his family decided to move him into an assisted living home, I only saw him a couple more times after that. Within a year he passed away. His was the first funeral I ever attended, and the first loss of a friend that I ever experienced. But I would not be the person I am today without the influence of the man that I have always known as Tony. It is partially because of him that I am as kind and empathetic as I am today.
The second of my surrogate father figures came into my life when I joined SPARC, he donated more time and equipment to the project than it had ever seen before, and he brought the program back to its former glory. It was he, who helped me earn my place in the Freemasons, and he who taught me how important it was to make connections everywhere. He taught me to be more outgoing and gave me the pointers that helped me become the public speaker that I am today. He was with me through my entire process of becoming a Freemason, and when I received my third degree I could see an immeasurable amount of pride on his face, and that made me feel fantastic, just for those few moments that void that has always existed in me from not having a true father like figure was filled. But then he moved to Florida towards the end of 2010, and I haven't heard from him since. I can only hope that he is doing well.
The third and most recent of my surrogate father figures is one whom I still keep in regular contact with. I met him as I was inducted into the National Honor Society and he helped me through the process of becoming the Junior Vice President and eventually the President of the NHS, it is him who I have to thank for helping me gain the skills that I would need to become a good leader.
Without these surrogate father figures in my life I do not think that I would be the person that I am today, but in a sense that is true of everyone that I know, each person that has crossed into my life has effected me in some profound way, no matter how short they may have been in my life, they all have a great effect on shaping who I am.
I only hope that someday I can inspire people in a positive way and help to shape them into the people that they will become. And I hope that one day I can be a great father to my children, and instil the qualities of kindness, confidence, leadership, and many more that I pick up throughout my life.

The Invasion

Just because I we are, by no choice of my own, related by blood, it does not give you the right to show up unannounced on my doorstep. Odds are if I had wanted to see you, I would have. Don't just pop in and expect us to start entertaining you. Especially when I never could stand you.
Out of all the hundreds of people that I would like to see turn up at my door, why did it have to be you. Do me a favor and don't pop back, you pompous arrogant know-it-all.

The Company of Friends

I meant to post this last night, but I just never found the moment to write it. Seeing all of my 170 friends graduate was an interesting experience. When I first came I was reminded of my own graduation. It seems like just yesterday that 169 was gathered together to reflect on our time at NE. I can't believe that its been a year all ready. So much has changed since that time. Certainly the company that I keep is not the same, but in all honesty I prefer it this way. Penn State has helped to strengthen/form my friendships with my favorite people in the world. And being away has let me see who really cares, by who actually bothered to stay in touch. It's nice to know where you stand in people's lives, though it may be bitter-sweet to see how some have changed.
The speeches at the graduation were amazing each in its own style, Gurinder's was reflective and concise, Gah's was funny and poignant, and Mike's was simply touching, he even managed to bring a tear to my eye when he spoke from the heart about how Gah was like the brother he lost so long ago.
Seeing everyone after they got their diploma made me realize just how quickly time can pass by. But I think that I will be able to stay in touch with 170 more, partially because I've learned what not to do from losing touch with some of 169. But only time will tell for sure, till then I can just hope for the best.

Time and the Rani

I'm rather excited to see all of my 170 friends graduate this Wednesday, I just hope that I can find someone to go with, I'd rather not sit through the whole ceremony alone. Of course, I will if I can't find anyone, nothing will stop me from being there for my friends. But it would be nice to have some company...

Full Circle

So I thought I'd post that NHS speech that I gave later this evening. I think it turned out well. The funny thing is I remember being inducted, and who the NHS president was who inducted me, I remember being the President and inducting new members, and now here I am giving the speech as the alumni speaker, and watching some of the people I inducted as they run the show. Funny how things have a tendency to come full circle.

Good evening everyone, for those who do not know me, my name is Michael Behr. This evening I have

been given the honor and privilege of giving the alumni speech at this year’s induction ceremony. To me

the National Honor Society was more than just an organization; we were and always will be a family. I

have formed some of my closest friendships with my NHS family, a bond that has endured and I know

will continue to thrive, no matter where we all end up on our life paths. I learnt much in my time with

NHS, I learnt how to be a good leader, but even more importantly I learnt the importance of helping

others. I am proud to say that I would not be the person I am today without the influence that NHS has

had on me.

To the newly inducted members you are embarking on what will be one of the greatest times in your

life. You are now not only part of a prestigious organization but part of a family upon which you can

reach out to any of the past members for guidance, as we never really leave NHS behind.

To the current members you still have time with NHS, make the most of it, don’t just focus on getting

your minutes for the sake of putting NHS on your college resume, there’s so much more to be done, so

much more to be seen, make the most of it while you still have the chance.

To the seniors, I can say in full faith that you will never be forgotten. You have made a great impact on

Northeast, as we had in the past, and it is all the better for your influence. Most of you are now on your

way to college, you’re going to love it, maybe not instantly, but once you adjust to this entirely new way

of life, you’re never going to want it to change. You’re probably going to have to endure a few things

along the way, insane roommates, bad professors, horrible weather, but for all these dire events, there

is ten times as much good. Your friendships will strengthen to levels you never thought possible and you

will have more fun than you have ever had in your life. Don’t spend too much time stressing over the

future, make sure you stop to enjoy the present.

If you’re not sure what you want to major in don’t worry we’ve all been there, even if you think you

know what you want to do with your life, and trust me here I speak from personal experience, it’s not

set in stone, feel free to change your major if you find something that you will be happy doing for the

rest of your life. In fact I encourage you to try as many new classes as you can, who knows you might

just stumble onto your future career. And don’t worry you won’t be alone, you’ll have your friends to

turn to for advice, and if you need someone with more experience with college, there’s NHS members

in almost every college that you’re going to. Any of you, especially those of you that are going to Penn

State can feel free to come to me for advice, you won’t be bothering me, I’m a psych major, if anything

you’ll be helping me get ready for my future career.

And on that note, I’d just like to thank Mr. Frank and everyone else here for letting this alum come back

to make this speech.

Frontios

I just finished writing my speech for the NHS induction. I must say I'm quite proud of how it turned out. I hope its well received. The way the induction keeps getting pushed back, I hope I get to make it. I'll be posting it on here sometime after the NHS induction, just in case anyone wanted to read it.
It's been a pretty good day. Thought I must say I cannot stand this heat wave, I despise the heat, I long for the days of snow and ice at times like this. Good thing I live at PSU 75% of the year and I'll be getting plenty of snow and ice before I know it.

Everything Changes

After seeing my old salutatorian speech again I can not believe that it has been almost a year since I first gave it. It seems like just yesterday. But when I think of how much has changed and how much I have changed over the past year, I realize just how much time a year can be. In this past year I have made some of (admittedly one stands out in particular as better than all the rest) the best friendships of my life and strengthened those friendships that I already had (again a few stand out in particular). This year may have had its ups and downs at points, but overall it was absolutely amazing, and in all honesty I wouldn't change a thing, because even the small things that went wrong this year all lead to or indirectly influenced even better things.

Ghost Machine

All this thinking of writing this speech for the NHS Induction Thursday has gotten my reminiscing. I was looking through some of my past works for some inspiration and I came across my Salutatorian Speech. So partially for archival purposes, but mostly because I just really liked that speech I'm posting it here, where it can sit in its little corner of cyber-space for all of eternity.

Good morning ladies and gentleman. My name is Michael Behr and I have been awarded the privilege and honor of giving this speech today at this the graduation of Northeast’s greatest class, 169!

William Hartnell once said, “Our lives are important - at least to us - and as we see, so we learn... Our destiny is in the stars, so let's go and search for it.”

I have always found these words to be true. Our own lives are important to each and every one of us as well as those who care about us, those who would give anything to ensure the protection and simplification of our lives. These people are our families who raised us to the point in which we can stand here today not only as the children they raised, but as independent free speaking adults. These people are also our friends whom we have either met or strengthened our bonds with during our time at Northeast. It is these same people whose lives are important to us, and it is these relationships that will last a lifetime and be there for us in even our darkest moments, inspiring us to press forward and be all that we can be.

As we see, so we learn, this is true no matter where one finds them self on the road of life. From the time that we are infants we explore the world around us, constantly searching for something new, something that will inspire us to learn, whether It be  something as simple as learning the names of your new neighbors or something complex such as memorizing pi to the 169^th digit.  Our time at Northeast has helped us immensely with this learning process, we have been given the opportunity to witness and take part in so many wonderful events. We have not only been taught the traditional subjects of math, science, and English, but also the more complex lessons, such as compassion for ones fellow man, and how to remain positive in even when all hope seems lost. These lessons will remain with us forever and help us just as long.

Our destiny lies in the stars, our time here at Northeast has helped us expand our horizons greatly, increasing not only our knowledge but our imaginations and aspirations as well. It is here that many of us have drafted the blue prints through which we plan to shape the rest of our lives. But now comes the bitter sweet moment when we realize that we must move on from our comfortable surroundings at Northeast and take the next step in our lives, whether that be college, trade school, a career, or even the armed forces. And it is because of our time at Northeast that we are ready to succeed in the next stage of life, our time here has prepared us for any challenge that may come our way. I believe I speak for the entire class of 169 when I say that we will always be thankful for this preparation.

We have gone through a lot as a class here at Northeast, and have made the memories that will last a life time. As we journey into the next stage of life where we will form new friendships, we will never forget our Northeast family. And as we bid a fond farewell to our time together may I simply finish by saying that while we may be miles apart, in our hearts we will always be CLASS 169!

Dalek Cutaway

Just a brief note, if you ever want to, or you suddenly get the urge, feel free to comment on anything on this blog, or hit that new little +1 button that Google has added. I love reading the feedback on my posts =)

The Macra Terror

I have been given the honor and privilege of making the alumni speech at this years NHS Induction, which I think is absolutely brilliant, couldn't be happier. Well I could be I suppose, I love public speaking and I love giving speeches, but I absolutely hate finding the time to write the speeches in the first place. I always have just the right idea that I want to get across and I usually know just about how I will say it. It's just something about sitting still and putting it down on a word processes that drives me insane, I have no idea why, it just does. I'll be much happier once I've typed it all out and delivered it on Thursday. I'll probably post a copy on here, whenever I get it all typed out.

The Lodger

This was one of those weekends where everything just seemed to fit into place. But I suppose that's generally how things go when you are surrounded by your absolute favorite people in the world.
It's funny how not getting together with people for a short period of time makes you love and appreciate them all the more.
On a side note, I do still plan on moving away from Philly one day, but maybe not as far as I had previously thought. =)

The Sun Makers

While I have clearly got some of the greatest friends in the world, who I frequently mention on this blog (probably more than they realize), I thought I would take a moment to thank the others who I don't mention as frequently, but have all helped mentor me and teach me the life lessons that have made me the person I am today.

Lori Behr (My Mother)
Alma Hoffman (My Maternal Grandmother)

Mark Jacobson

Archangelo "Tony" Cecilio

Marge Karpinski
Christopher Frank
David Seltzer
Edie Sherman
Dan Lynch
Susan Handelman
Concettina Lucarini
Sue Park
Gail Paternoster

Eileen Robbins

I doubt I would be the person I am today without the influence of these people, and for that I thank them.

The Hungry Earth

So got a new job today, higher rates than ever before,  I love when that happens. Its a tutoring gig, I hope I'm not too rusty. Tomorrow is going to be my busiest day in a long time; I start off with an early morning carpet cleaning gig, then a shower, then off to NE to help Ivan train the new computer managers, then home for a bite to eat (hopefully), before I go off to my new tutoring gig. Then I have another carpet job on thursday. I can't wait till Friday just so I can finally relax a bit.
At least I have Saturday and Sunday to look forward to, should be the best days I've had in quite a while. There's nothing quite as satisfying as time spent with your best friends.

The Time Monster

People are funny creatures, all about the old and the new. We tend to go towards the old because it is familiar to us, we feel safe and comforted by it, we know it and it knows us and that is why we love it so much.
On the other hand the new is exciting and terrifying at the same time, a whole new world of possibilities, a whole new reality waiting to be discovered, it could bring us to an unbelievably bright future or untold darkness. The only way we will ever really find out is to take a flying leap into the new and hope for the best.
We can not hide in the past as we will be constantly doomed to repeat our mistakes forever, but we must learn from the past and take from it what helped us the most and what held us back the most, and figure out how to replicate the good and avoid the bad. Jump into the new with the knowledge of the old. It is only through the risk of trying the new that we can truly live.

The Fires of Pompeii

It amazes me how someone can watch others suffer with no remorse at all, when all it would take to stop said suffering is to flip a switch. It amazes me more to watch said person, who when the switch was finally flipped on, without a second thought flips the switch back off. Some people are truly not human.

Galaxy 4

I must admit I love when 169 pops up in random places, I especially liked seeing it on my blog counter last night. It's funny how the simplest things can make you smile.

 

See I told you it was there =)

The Myth Makers

I just felt compelled to write out a list of the people (other than family) who I consider myself to be closest to at this point in time, the people that I am most thankful for. If you find that you're not on this list, don't worry it doesn't mean I don't care about you, it just means that I don't think we're all that close. Most people are on this list for different reasons and have all had different impacts on my life. They are in no particular order whatsoever (so don't get mad if you're below X ). It's just whatever order I happen to type them in (well some may be grouped with others I met at the same time, but other than that there's no order)

Paula Sitek

Blake DeCarvalho

Angela Platchkov

Rayn Phillips

Ivan Moutinho

Gladson Thomas

Clara Wong

Gah Tang

Ricky Zhao

Olga Voronenko

Tasveer Khawaja

Gurinder Singh

Charis Trinidad

Vincent Nguyen

Philip Chen

Amy Chau

Min Zheng
Sandra Trinh

Eugene Olkhov

Josh Belitsky

Michael Krolikowski

Brad Jacobson

Tammy Sloan

Richard Wendler-Hass

Richard Devlin

Ciril Abraham

Eliot Shtruzberg

Kristi Vojniku

Sheharyar Sohail

Fawzi Habib

Kris Rielly

Jimmy Lam

Samantha Joy

The funny thing is no matter how absolutely off-beat the people on this list are, I love them all the more for it.

I hope that I can keep all of these people in my life, I know that if this list had been written last year, it would have included quite a few additional names. Names of people who I've simply lost contact with and I hate that I have, but maybe its all for some reason, only time will tell.
But while this list may have lost names from one that might have been written last year, it also includes more people that I have become closer to within the past year, and I think that is simply fantastic.

Terminus

New Rule: From this point on I will only be bothering with the people who care to have me in their lives. The people who actually bother to get in touch with me every so often. So I may loose a few "friends". Odds are if I haven't talked to you in the last 3 months, your not that great of a friend anymore anyway. You're now an acquaintance, want that to change make an effort. I'm tired of fighting this one sided battle. It's unbelievable how much college is able to change some people. So you're life has changed a bit, get over it, all of our lives have changed, that's what college does, it's no reason to just write off everyone from your past. So if at the end of the day I have less friends than so be it, I'd much rather have a few friends who actually bother to keep me in their lives than many friends who couldn't give less of a shit about me.
The winds are changing, time to set sail in a new direction.

Vengeance on Varos

Okay, you've done it now, I'm pissed. This has been going on for far too long. I keep setting aside days for you and you don't even have the decency to call and say that its not going to work for you tonight. But you have the gall to expect me to drop everything that is going on in my life the second you want the work done. Well guess what I'm not going to be bending over backwards to help you with your piddly little problems from now on, figure things out on your own. My loyalty is no longer with you. Frankly it was never that good of a job anyway, I don't care how hard up for money I become, I'm tired of putting the people who actually care about me on hold because you might call with a job. I'm done.

Silence in the Library

It seems to me that the biggest problems that we have today can be boiled down to one thing: communication. Whether it be two people who each think that one will call the other only to result in neither being called or two pieces of technology that simply won't match up the way you want them to communications problems loom everywhere.
In business communication problems cost time and money, neither of which is easy to recover.
In life communication problems can cost even more important things, friendships, relationships, or even life.
The point is we must be careful in how we communicate with others, we must listen to what others say, question that which we do not understand. And we must learn to be clear when communicating to others. The problems that arise from ill-conceived communications are simply not worth it.

Revelation of the Daleks

I hate those moments where I'm giving someone advice and I come across the revelation that I should be following the advice myself. On the one hand it makes me realize just how hard it can be to follow my advice and makes me realize how much stronger the people who do follow my advice are than me. On the other hand I feel a bit hypocritical that I am not following through on the idea myself.
Perhaps this is how I was meant to come to these conclusions all along, and by helping others, I am in turn helping myself. I know that whenever I feel down, helping someone through their problems always brightens my day, sometimes to the point that I feel like I am living my life through helping others with theirs. But I think that this is a good thing, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I just wish I could find the solutions to my problems along with the solutions to other peoples problems every so often.

The Ribos Operation

I can not wait until the day that I can become a real psychologist and stop doing all these odd jobs for the odd bit of money. These bit jobs just aren't who I am. If I have to tell one more person that I've become a carpet cleaner for the summer I think I might go mad...well madder than I already am. I suppose for right now I can only take life one day at a time.

The Power of the Daleks

This evening I went to a family party, never have been very fond of those, but I muddled on through with a little help from my friends (god I love texting) While not a man or religion, I could not help but think, what would happen if these were the people I was with when the rapture came. What a dreadful thought that these would be the people I would spend my final moments with. I thought I'd much rather be spending my last moments on earth with other bits of family or my friends. But luckily fate smiled upon me and no rapture arrived (though I never really thought it would [see earlier post]) On the bright side, it does make me realize how much I appreciate my friends. I really love them.

Doctor Who: The TV Movie

I'm not quite myself lately, I don't know how to describe it. I'm just not me. It's not like I'm always depressed or anything, because I do generally get happy, usually for long periods of time. I just seem to be going through the motions. I think its mostly boredom and the realization that I will be cleaning carpets all summer, I think I'd rather face the daleks and cybermen simultaneously.  At least I have my friends and some family, I don't know what I'd do without them.

A Fix with Sontarans

I find it funny how when your ready to work a job, people are never ready for you, but the minute that they have time and want the job done you're supposed to stop your life for them. When is it that we lost all consideration for the lives of others.
And for future reference odds are if I don't answer my phone the first time, calling me 6 more times in the next ten minutes isn't going to help you, I probably have my phone on silent, probably with good reason, and I will see your calls later. Or if it is so bloody urgent just text me and be done with this never-ending game of sodding phone tag.

The Visitation

Since I have been back in Philly, I have visited many people, and I have thoroughly enjoyed my visits with most if not all of them. Yet there are always those couple of people, who I always look forward to seeing but can never seem to meet up with. In fact now that I think about it there are about 4 different categories of people and I always seem to run into a mishmosh of all of them.
The 4 basic categories are:
Extended Family
These are the people I absolutely adore, I consider these people to be those closest to me. The people that I can never seem to get enough of, it is these people that I can simply be around and suddenly I feel much happier than before. These are the people that I would do anything for in life as I truly consider them to be family, I love them with all my heart and hope that they are never out of my life for long.
The Good Friend
These are the people that I enjoy seeing and would not mind doing favors for. These people are close to me, but not as close as "Extended Family" I do enjoy seeing them, but will not always go out of my way to do so. I care enough for these people that I am always willing to lend an ear or give advice and I hope that they are not out of contact with me for extended periods without the occasional check in.
The Casual Acquaintance
These are the folks who I really won't plan on seeing, but tend to be in the same circles of people as me. I care enough to never want to see anything bad happen to these people. In all honesty, I probably won't see them all that much, and I really won't mind much either way, in fact prolonged exposure to these people may cause me to get annoyed with them easily.
Vagabonds
These are the people I really could not care less about. They easily get on my nerves and frankly I don't enjoy being around them. After a while the mere sight of them or sound of their voice can make my skin crawl. Admittedly, I do not have many people who fit in this category, but it is enough that it is easily a category of its own. Odds are if your reading this, you're not a part of this category so don't worry lol.

I'm always curious if people know just which category they belong in as far as I am concerned, as well as which I fit into in their minds. If you're curious just tell me which category you think you are a part of and I will be completely honest (Time Lord's Honor) and tell you where I feel you fit.

The End of the World

Someone recently asked me what my opinion was over the whole rapture business on the 21st of May. I just thought I would share my response with you all. It is as follows:
While I am not a particularly religious man, I have been looking into the rapture recently, mostly because of the sheer amount of advertising that is going around about it. While I do think that there will come a time when the human race as we know it comes to an end, I do not think that that time is upon us just yet.
I can't help but think that the May 21st date was more or less pulled out of a hat as there is almost no real evidence supporting it. That coupled with the fact that so many different groups have chosen different dates for the rapture, Oct 21, 2011; 2012. I think that when the end is meant to come there will be some sort of track-able signs.
When all is said and done the rapture will probably come at our own hands, from the activation of nuclear warfare, or some similar method. I think that when it comes to good or evil we never need look further than ourselves, for the human race is the perfect representation of good and evil, with some individuals who live their lives whilst trying to be good and help others, and then there are the individuals like the head of BP, who care only about profit and their own well-being, knowing that they will harm others to get it, and simply not caring about those they hurt.
But basically, I don't think the rapture is upon us just yet; there will always be religious zealots, who do things like this to try and fill out their ranks, as if the end of the world will make everyone commit to their religion. I think we have plenty of time left to live our lives. But either way I think the best thing that any of us can do is live our lives to the fullest everyday and focus on being with the people we care about most.

Resurrection of the Daleks

After a Hiatus that was much longer than originally intended (pointed out to me by one of my all time favorite people...and possibly the only person who still reads this blog) Pandorica is coming back and will be better than ever. It will now fully be used for its original purpose, a repository for my thoughts, they may not always be long, but they will always reflect me in some manner. Thanks for sticking around. I'm glad to be back.

Cookies

While I am not usually the type to publish work on this blog that is not my own, I feel the need to share this story which happened to and is told by one of my favorite authors:

Cookies by Douglas Adams (author: "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy")

This actually did happen to a real person, and the real person was me. I had gone to catch a train. This was April 1976, in Cambridge, U.K. I was a bit early for the train. I'd gotten the time of the train wrong.

I went to get myself a newspaper to do the crossword, and a cup of coffee and a packet of cookies. I went and sat at a table.

I want you to picture the scene. It's very important that you get this very clear in your mind.

Here's the table, newspaper, cup of coffee, packet of cookies. There's a guy sitting opposite me, perfectly ordinary-looking guy wearing a business suit, carrying a briefcase.

It didn't look like he was going to do anything weird. What he did was this: he suddenly leaned across, picked up the packet of cookies, tore it open, took one out, and ate it.

Now this, I have to say, is the sort of thing the British are very bad at dealing with. There's nothing in our background, upbringing, or education that teaches you how to deal with someone who in broad daylight has just stolen your cookies.

You know what would happen if this had been South Central Los Angeles. There would have very quickly been gunfire, helicopters coming in, CNN, you know. . . But in the end, I did what any red-blooded Englishman would do: I ignored it. And I stared at the newspaper, took a sip of coffee, tried to do a clue in the newspaper, couldn't do anything, and thought, what am I going to do?

In the end I thought, nothing for it, I'll just have to go for it, and I tried very hard not to notice the fact that the packet was already mysteriously opened. I took out a cookie for myself. I thought, that settled him. But it hadn't because a moment or two later he did it again. He took another cookie.

Having not mentioned it the first time, it was somehow even harder to raise the subject the second time around. "Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice . . ." I mean, it doesn't really work.

We went through the whole packet like this. When I say the whole packet, I mean there were only about eight cookies, but it felt like a lifetime. He took one, I took one, he took one, I took one. Finally, when we got to the end, he stood up and walked away.

Well, we exchanged meaningful looks, then he walked away, and I breathed a sigh of relief and sat back. A moment or two later the train was coming in, so I tossed back the rest of my coffee, stood up, picked up the newspaper, and underneath the newspaper were my cookies.

The thing I like particularly about this story is the sensation that somewhere in England there has been wandering around for the last quarter-century a perfectly ordinary guy who's had the same exact story, only he doesn't have the punch line.

(Excerpted from "The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time" by Douglas Adams)

I think its interesting really, it just goes to show the misconceptions that we can all have about one another. It makes us realize, well me at least, how important it is to look at things from another person's perspective. Imagine how the story might have changed if either person had spoken up. I really feel as though we must learn to communicate better with our fellow man, or else we may forever end up with only half of a package of cookies.

Bellatrix

Some people just have a way of entrancing you so much, that you can't help but turn to mush whenever you so much as think about them. They can always seem to make your cloudy sky bright once more. You can't help but begin to think that destiny has been working on bringing the two of you together all along. Who knows maybe it has, only time will tell. Till then all we can do is hope.

Phoenix

I've had a revelation today. I've decided that there are certain parts of my life that need an overhaul, I'm quite certain that if I do not change these aspects of my life, I may not exist as long as I hope to. So this is it, I'm taking a stance, I will loose weight, I will no longer let things stress me out, and I will try to enjoy life more.
Don't worry I have no intention of changing myself entirely, just the little things. I still plan to laugh each and every day as much as humanly possible and I still pledge to help my friends and family anytime and anywhere no matter what they are going through.
I shall rise from the ashes of my former self like a phoenix, and be all the better for it.

Epiphany

People's lives are interesting. Think of your life as a line. Now think of everyone else's life as their own line. How often do you see each other, how often do you allow your lines to cross. Think of those with whom your line run almost parallel with, your closest friends or loved one's, meeting up with them at least once a day. Think of how much of an impact they have on you, it is usually more than you think of, but when you give it a thought, you can see just how much they influence you and vice versa.
There are also those with whom your life may pass only once, these people can have no impact at all on you or change your life forever, it is all just a matter of luck and circumstances in these cases.
And then there are those truly special cases. When you think of how often your lives touch you can imagine them as a double helix of sorts, with your destinies so deeply intertwined that you almost always bump into these people when you least expect. It is often these relationships that make us realize just how much we have changed in such a short time. And they can be some of the most interesting and satisfying relationships you will ever find yourself in.

In Neglect

Every time I talk to an old friend these days, I seem to notice just how long it has been since I last spoke with them. The intervals are becoming larger and larger, the gap widens and I fear I am loosing touch with some of the people I once held so dear. Is this really a simple case of cross-road friends. I know that some of these people fit into that category, some of whom I wasn't even that close with during the peak of our friendship. But it is the rest of the people that I refuse to believe are cross-roads friends. Living so far from those I care about has really taken a toll on these friendships.

I find myself having to be filled in on more and more of the happenings in Philly, and there is a part of me that dies a little bit when I realize just how much of my friend's lives I am missing. While I love the five people that I am really close to up here, and I could never imagine life without them, I miss seeing the others and the variation in conversations that we used to have. The different news that we would find to share with one another. The odd discussions that always seemed to bring the light out on the darkest of days.
I suppose it is in part due to the neglect of both parties, with neither of us checking in enough with the other. But I am going to try to stop the neglect (at least on my end) and check in on my friends more, because I really do care how they have been, and I want to be there for them, no matter what they may be going through at the moment.

From Snow That Melted Only Yesterday

This is the first day in a long time where the temperature has been above freezing. I can say without restrain that this is one of the most beautiful days I have seen in a long time. The snow that had long plagued us upon our lawns and benches has finally begun to melt away into to water which will nourish new life from these ravaged soils. Perhaps for once the groundhog was right about this early spring, perhaps it is only coincidence, perhaps this is only a sampling of spring, the eye in the storm that is the long harsh State College winter. No matter what the cause, today should be seen as a sign for all to appreciate life. A day this nice should not be wasted.
But since it is Valentine's Day today, many people will let this beauty go by unnoticed, either because they are too entwined with their lovers to see anything else or because they are so concerned with their feelings of depression and self pity on this day that celebrates the love shared between so many couples.
I refuse to let this day pass by unnoticed, I will live it to the fullest, enjoying every second of the beautiful air. If only all days could be this inspiring, with its perfect temperature, not so cool as to freeze one, but not so hot so that one may begin to sweat. It is quite simply the perfect day. Now get out there and enjoy it.

The Road Not Taken

Once again I found my self deep in self meditation, I could not help but wonder why I had ever chosen meteorology in the first place. Then I remembered to when the idea first popped into my head. When I was young, I had a habit of changing my mind as to what I wanted to become when I grew up, sometimes from week to week. I had wanted to be a teacher, a chef, a comedian, even a geneticist. And sooner or later, often sooner, I would find a reason why that job would not work for me and I moved on. Around the time I was in the seventh grade, my science class did a chapter on weather, I became enthralled, my infatuation with the subject grew and grew and while people doubted that I would stick to my choice I was determined to prove them wrong.
I genuinely was interested in becoming a meteorologist, at least back then, my infatuation with all things weather related lasted until I was in the tenth grade. By this point I realized I was loosing interest in the subject, more and more each day. But I could not bring myself to confess this feeling to anyone, how could I tell the people who had supported me for all these years, who had such faith in my meteorological skill, that I had changed my mind. "I can't wait to see you on TV one day," Nope, sorry, not going to happen now, but thanks for the kind words. So I kept up the charade and dug myself deeper and deeper into this pit of despair. "What does it matter?" I thought as I looked for a college with a world renowned  meteorology department, "I can always change later" or my favorite "I can learn to like it again."
I got to college and I decided that I would change once more, not entirely, I had rather liken most of myself throughout high school, I would only change the few things that I could not stand about myself, my shyness, my inability to stand up for what I believe in, my fear that if I did what I truly wanted to I would hurt those around me. So I did, I changed who I was once more, and once again for the better, growing as a human being. I had already taken my first semester, I saw what it would take for me to become a meteorologist, and frankly, it bored me to death. I loved the people that I met in the department, and I do hope to remain friends with them, but I know that it will never be the same kind of friendship that I have with my other friends, my truest friends.
So when it came time for my second semester at Penn State, I told myself that I would change my major by the end of the semester, and then I realized, here I was again, lying to myself, taking a path that I had no intention of staying on. So I decided that I would finally be true to who I really am. I would follow my passion of wanting to make a real difference in people's lives. And with that I switched my major to psychology, and so far I have been worlds happier for it.
My friends and family supported my decision in full, I don't know why I was so afraid to change. I've realized that anyone who doesn't support the idea of me doing what I enjoy, really don't care about me all that much, and honestly, they can take a long walk off a short cliff into the jagged abyss.
Here I am, on the road less traveled, by myself at least, and while I can not tell if the ending will be good or not, I can at least be comforted in the knowledge that I followed exactly what I wanted to do with my life.
I think Robert Frost said it best:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

The Mirror In My Mind

   A voice said, Look me in the stars
And tell me truly, men of earth,
If all the soul-and-body scars
Were not too much to pay for birth. 

~Robert Frost 

While I had some time to myself today, I did what I seem to be doing a lot lately and I reflected on my past. The first thing that I realized is that there is no single person who knows about my entire life, sure people know bits and pieces, often those that they were a part of and some of the surrounding bits that had to do with the time that I spent with them. But I have never really been able to tell anyone everything about me, I've just never been able to tell someone all of the details of my past, I can't seem to let anyone in that deep, to trust them as much as I would like to. Perhaps it is because deep down I know that nothing is forever, no friendship, no life, and there is no guarantee that I can trust someone to the degree that I would have to, to let them in on who I really am. There are days when even I don't know who I really am, so who am I to tell someone else? I wonder if I will ever find that person that I can truly and completely confide in. Only time will tell.

The Sensorites

Ten Day Challenge: Day Ten

One confession

1. There is nothing more important to me than my friends and family. I'd do anything for them.

The Krotons

Ten Day Challenge: Day Nine

Two smileys that describe your life right now.

1. ^_^
2. =D
   
   
   Since that was so small I'll include a second part (stolen from a friend of mine)
   
   
   Ten Day Challenge: Day Nine

   Two favorite colors?

   
   

   1. Black
   2. Dark Purple
      

Day of the Daleks

I thought the blog needed a bit of a change, so I designed a new title for it. Not bad huh?

An Unearthly Child

 I had to write a memoir for my English class and I thought, well why not post it here on my blog, this is of course only the draft.

As I stood at the podium, ready to give my speech to seven hundred or so of my closest friends, I thought back to what had led me to that point, to the event that had started it all. It was a cool autumn day in November of ’07 when I had decided to apply for the position of astronaut in Project SPARC (a program at many school dedicated to performing a couple of simulated NASA space flights every year). I had mostly made the decision to apply for the position out of fun (being an astronaut meant that I would get to miss a whole day of classes); of course, I knew my chances were slim. I was only a sophomore at this point and all of the juniors and seniors got preference when it came to choosing who the astronauts would be. Just a few short days after turning in my application for the position, I was called into the office of our program director. While I half expected to simply hear that I was not chosen for the position of astronaut and that I should try again next year, it took the director all of five seconds to decimate the idea of being an astronaut at all. She told me that I could not be an astronaut this year, as too many juniors and seniors had applied for the spot, but the position of spokesperson was open, and she thought that I would be perfect for it (she had seen me speak previously at National Academic League competitions). As soon as I realized that the position of spokesperson also meant that I could miss my whole day of classes, I accepted without hesitation and that’s how it all began.

Now before I took this position, I was a fairly shy person, I would rarely say more than I had to, and had a fairly small group of (very good) friends.  Now here I was, about to work my first appearance as spokesperson after weeks of hard work and practice (by heard work and practice, I mean going over the basic outline of the flight for about 15 minutes total). I got up in front of the class that had come down to see the flight, I was dressed in my best dress clothes (flights were always formal after all), and I started to speak, a bit shaky at first, I fumbled with a few words, but then suddenly I began to get the sense of it and I went through all of the facts and figures and taking them on the tour of the rest of the facilities. It was at the exact moment that the class was leaving after they had all thanked me for the wonderful tour that I began my love with public speaking.

From that point onwards, I continuously expanded my job as spokesperson farther and farther; I had decided that two simulated flights a year was not enough exercise for my public speaking skills, public speaking quickly became an addiction to me. I began volunteering to work at the high school fair to tell prospective students about the merits of choosing our school’s magnet program; this became a tradition which I would continue for the rest of my years in high school. In the three years that I worked the high school fairs I must easily have met over a thousand people, many of whom I helped to convince to come to my high school, some of whom I still know to this day.  Being a spokesperson had given me a whole new lease on life, I now had the courage to run for junior vice president of our National Honor Society, and even better still, I had the skill to write the speech that led to my victory. My luck would not end either as I was soon approached to write and present an advertisement for the robotics competition, by the time I was done, our presentation placed third in the state and got us to nationals in Auburn, Alabama.

            By the time I reached my senior year, I was one of the most recognizable faces in my school, by both staff and student alike. The staff knew me from my volunteer work promoting the school, and many of the younger students knew me as I had been the one to convince them to pick my high school. It was easily one of the best times in my life. I had been elected to the position of President in our National Honor Society, and I now held the titles of President and manager of the computers group in SPARC in addition to my title as spokesperson. It was during this year that I got to personally induct the newest members of our National Honor Society, many of whom I had known for years, and I could not have been prouder of them. By April, I could feel my time as spokesperson coming close to its end, one of the groups in SPARC had decided to build me my own personal podium to use at my last SPARC flight simulation. I think that it is perhaps the greatest podium in all of existence, using it gave me a sense of power and control that I had never before known. The flight simulation went off without a hitch, and we celebrated afterword, we always celebrated at the end of our last flight simulation of the year in honor of those of us who would be graduating, but it had never affected me as much as it had this year, I could feel the end, that was it, my spokesperson days were all over. Or so I thought.

            Late in May I was called into the principal’s office, she told me that I was salutatorian of our graduating class, and that I would get to make a speech at the ceremony. I quickly began work on the speech; I based it upon a favorite quote of mine, the speech of course had to be approved, after which I added a few items to the version that I would actually deliver. Then almost out of nowhere, there I was standing at the podium, ready to give my speech to seven hundred or so of my closest friends, I thought of how much I had changed from that shy timid young man that I had been four years prior, how my role as spokesperson helped me gain self confidence, how it led to so many chance meetings which in turn became some of the best friendships of my life, and how it made me who I am today. I then gave my speech, which I can honestly say was the best speech I had ever written, which concluded with seven hundred of my closest friends and their families cheering like crazy.

Doctor Who and the Silurians

Ten Day Challenge: Day Eight

Three turn ons.

 

1. Long walks in the rain
2. Even longer meaningful conversations
3. An endless vault of private in-jokes

Enlightenment

Sometimes in life, you have to stand back and take a look at all that you have. Not the possessions, not the money, not the social status, but the relationships. As I was at dinner this evening with two of my closest friends and I came to the realization that life is not about all the little things that stress us out from day to day. These things don't matter at all. People work all of their lives to achieve a "high status" and they live miserable lives, because they have forgotten to form relationships along the way, crushing anyone who tries to get close to them.
So I have decided that from this point on, I will no longer let the little things in life bother me, I will focus on devoting as much time as humanly possible, to those I care about most and those who care about me, because my relationships with them are the most important things in my life.

Meglos

Ten Day Challenge: Day Seven

Four turn offs.

1. Smokers
2. Drunks
3. Drug Addicts
4. Republicans

Castrovalva

Ten Day Challenge: Day Six

Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)

 Ok, so there are way too many people who are important to me to narrow it down to 5, but I have managed to narrow it down to 10 people who mean a lot to me (in no order whatsoever)

1. Paula
2. Blake
3. Angela
4. Kramer
5. Tammy
6. Ivan
7. Gladson
8. Rus
9. Zach
10. Eugene

Attack of the Cybermen

Ten Day Challenge: Day Five

Six things I wish I had never done

 

I have recently come to the decision not to have any regrets, there's no point to them, so the challenge for today is really irrelevant.

Delta and the Bannermen

Ten Day Challenge: Day Four

Seven things that cross my mind a lot

1. Thoughts of my friends and family
2. Is society degrading so fast, that we won't be able to stop it?
3. Should I study psychology or psychiatry?
4. Will I ever find my soul mate?
5. Will I ever get a good job?
6. Why in a world where education seems so sparce, do we force those who want to futher their education into such massive debt?
7. What my future will hold