Attack of the Cybermen

Ten Day Challenge: Day Five

Six things I wish I had never done

 

I have recently come to the decision not to have any regrets, there's no point to them, so the challenge for today is really irrelevant.

Delta and the Bannermen

Ten Day Challenge: Day Four

Seven things that cross my mind a lot

1. Thoughts of my friends and family
2. Is society degrading so fast, that we won't be able to stop it?
3. Should I study psychology or psychiatry?
4. Will I ever find my soul mate?
5. Will I ever get a good job?
6. Why in a world where education seems so sparce, do we force those who want to futher their education into such massive debt?
7. What my future will hold

The Enemy Within

Ten Day Challenge: Day Three

Eight ways to win my heart

1. Laugh at my jokes while making jokes of your own
2. Have a love of animals
3. Walk with me on dark rainy nights
4. Be an anglophile with me
5. Have a love of the classics
6. If you like Doctor Who that’s an incredible bonus
7. Once in awhile, just every so often, wear something formal
8. Love me for who I am

Dalek

Ten Day Challenge: Day Two

Nine things about yourself

1.       I love classic movies

2.       I’m a big fan of tokatsu

3.       I hate being alone for long periods of time

4.       Spiders frighten the hell out of me

5.       I will finally be going to my first concert this March

6.       I can wiggle my ears

7.       My favorite sitcom is Frasier

8.       My favorite band is The Beatles

9.       I almost always show up early to places

The Idiot's Lantern

Ten Day Challenge: Day One

Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.

 OK, so I’ve stolen this idea from a dear friend’s blog, she is actually in this list, I wonder if she can find her entry? ;)

Oh and if you’re really interested you can email me to see if you know who everyone on the list refers to, or if an entry is about you. Though I must say it was really hard only being able to write to 10 people.

1. You always seem so sad, on a deeper level than you’re willing to show. You may try to act happy from time to time, but I can see right past that. I wish you would tell me about all that troubles you, so that I could help you through it. I’m so sorry that we seem to keep missing each other every time that I come back to town, I swear that we will actually meet up one of these days. Don’t ever think that I’ve forgotten about you, because I never could, you are far too beautiful a person for that. Besides, I still owe you that slice of pie.
2. I think I may have known you longer than anyone else, and I think we know more about each other than most people know about us. You can be a royal jackass at times, but so can I, it’s just the way we are, comes from where we grew up. Your one of only a couple people who I keep in touch with from that certain part of my life, and probably the sole person that I can count on from those days. I know you would classify this as bullshit if you ever read it, but since you don’t know about this blog that’s not really a problem. I’m glad you have finally found the girl of your dreams, and I wish you both only the best, but you better not go getting yourself killed any time soon, things just wouldn’t be the same without you.
3. Since the moment I’ve met you, I’ve known you to go completely against the social norms of our society. Over the years I’ve managed to get you into some fantastic shows, I’m still waiting for you to recommend (a good) one to me. Your quite possibly one of my best friends, of course so are most of the people on this entry. We may act like antagonists at times, and we may even seem like we can’t stand each other, but there is no one I would rather discuss quantum mechanics with at 7 in the morning. We really must get together for coffee again one of these days.
4.  I’m glad that after six months of me saying it, you’ve finally taken my advice to look on the bright side of life once in a while. Now if only you could take my advice about the small banana, and forget about it entirely. But I’m sure you will one day, just hopefully before it is too late. I always enjoy talking to you over dinner, and how I can convince you of almost anything lol.
5. You know it’s kind of funny, since the moment I met you, I had a feeling that we would become great friends. Of course putting up with that chem class together could only strengthen the bonds that people share, but you are easily one of my best friends. It seems like we’ve known each other for so much longer than we actually have, and that’s a good thing, we both know the feeling of wanting to go home and never look back, but we do come back because we know we must, but I think that having each other around has made that much easier and I don’t know if I could have done it without you.
6. I’ve only known you for about 6 months and we have already become amazing friends. Your one of the greatest guys that I have ever met, you’ve definitely made this college experience more fun than it ever could have been without you. You definitely have to come back to Philly and hang out with us sometime. I can’t wait till we see Elton John!
7. I feel as though we are in a constant state of teaching and learning. We keep introducing each other to new worlds. You are such an amazing friend and easily one of the nicest people that I have ever met. One day you will achieve greatness and easily go down in the history books.Oh and Losties forever!
8. If I may paraphrase something that you once said to me, in freshman year, we didn’t really know each other, nor in sophomore year, but beginning in junior year, our relationship formed and it formed fast. You are one of the most dependable people I have ever met in my life, and also one of the most honest, a refreshing trait that is not oft seen these days. I cherish our friendship more than you will ever know. And I will still never be able to thank you enough for setting me up last year ;)
9. You are an incredible leader, from the moment I first met you, I saw that you had an ability to bring people together for the common good. To be entirely honest, whenever I had trouble with leading a group, I’d ask myself what would you do, and it usually worked. You have been a great friend to me for the last five years, and I hope that our friendship continues well into our old age. I cannot tell you how happy I am that you have finally found the one you love and I wish you both the best.
10. Whenever I see purple, you automatically spring to my mind. From NAL to NHS to SPARC to life in general, you’ve always been there for me, and I truly appreciate that. You have this innate ability to always know just the right thing to say to make people laugh, and you should never let go of that incredible gift, for now is when we need it most. One day you will be a billionaire, I can say that without a doubt, all I ask is that you remember a little old bear from the old days; of course we’ll still be in touch so you won’t exactly have the option of forgetting me, but still lol.

Mindwarp

Over recent days, I've noticed more and more people seem to be coming to me in order to seek advice to their daily woes. While people have always come to me with their problems from time to time, it seems that people are doing it now more often than ever.
I suppose in retrospect, this  could be what got me interested in psychology in the first place. I love nothing more than being able to help a friend through a rough patch in their life, whether it be by talking through their situation or just bringing a smile to their face. After all "A day without laughter is a day wasted."

New Earth

It has recently come to my attention that quite a few of my friends who are also here majoring in meteorology have also decided to switch their majors. For some reason I know feel so much less hesitant about my decision to switch my major. I suppose because now I know that I am not the only one changing majors, it no longer seems so alien to do so.
It is so nice to have people to talk to who are going through the exact same situation as I am. While I have always been able to talk about my decisions and my decision making process to my friends and family, it seems more settling to talk to people who are in the exact same situation as myself. I was initially going to wait till the end of the semester to change my major, but now I think I will do it much sooner. I might just wait till someone else makes it official, to see all of the processes that I will need to go through.
I can not wait until I am officially a Psychology major, the more and more psych classes I take, the more and more enthralled I become by the entire subject. To see just how the human mind works is an amazing thing. There is no greater feeling than finding out the true motivations behind a person's actions. I can not wait to step onto this path to a whole new world of self discovery, it will be like a whole new world.

Mission to the Unknown

So I have recently come to the conclusion that I have no idea what I want to do with my life. All that I know right now is that I do not wish to continue my meteorological career any further. Frankly, the whole topic of meteorology has come to bore me in more ways than I can express. I do not mean that I have lost interest in the weather, and I don't believe that I ever will, I have just simply lost all concern for the study of it.
I have thought of becoming a psychologist, which sounds fantastic to me, but still requires a great deal off schooling. I've grown sick of school, tired of the endless battle for grades. Tired of always trying to do my best only to see that it is not good enough.
I wish I could just get a job already, finally reap some of the rewards of my hard work, but what kind of job can I get without a college degree, the world seems bent upon screwing us over in so many ways. College just keeps taking and taking money and showing little in return for it, sometimes it makes you feel like just another number. It was nice being home, and getting to see everyone again, even if I did not get a chance to hang out with most people, it was nice to see them in passing, like the good ole days.
Frankly, I wasn't excited at all to come back to PSU, if anything I was disappointed. I just want to start a career already and skip this useless bit.

The Time Meddler

 "One man's life touches so many others, when he's not there it leaves an awfully big hole."
~It's A Wonderful Life
Ever since I first heard that quote, it has always made me think. I first think of all the people's live who have touched my own and how they have helped make me into the person that I am today. Many of these people will never know just how much of an impact they have upon my life, there is a sadness to that, but that is how life goes. I try to let people know how much they have changed my life, but it is often hard to find just the right time to tell someone how much of an influence they've been.
I then think of all the people whose lives I may have influenced, the people who were affected by people who were as they were because they had met me. I wonder how the world would be different if I had never been born, who of my friends, would be more successful, less successful, or even no longer in existence. I wonder how many people's lives I have had an effect on. I hope that I have had a positive effect on peoples lives. I also wish I knew just who I have effected and how, but perhaps I am not meant to know. I'm sure that it will all make sense one day.

The End of Time

As morbid as it sounds, I've always wondered what my funeral would be like. There seem to be a great deal of people in my life who care deeply for me, but when push comes to shove just who would bother themselves with paying their final respects? How many people would be going just for the sake of going, as if funeral crashing was like some kind of party game?
I know it is a play to my own ego, but I would like a really big turn out, I would love it if the church was so full that people would have to stand, that they would have to line up around the building, but not just people who are there, people who truly care. People who will actually miss me. People whose lives I have touched in one way or another. I wish that I could somehow peek into the far future, to see my funeral as it happens, to bid the people a final goodbye, those I knew in the past, those I hold close now, and those I have yet to have an influence on yet. But, with any luck my funeral won't be for a long time off yet.

Rose

I have the distinct displeasure of never having had a decent relationship in my entire life. The earliest relationship-esque experience of mine was during camp before sixth grade, with a girl who I truly thought I had feelings for, as it happened, she also went to my school, it all started over a campfire and then a dance, we didn't really say much to each other for the next three years but remained acquaintances. The next and last time I really thought I had feelings for her was when we danced at the eighth grade dinner, we danced for the majority of the event. I tried to get back in touch a couple of years later, but she started dating who is in my opinion one of the lowest forms of life, and no that is not just bitterness or jealousy talking, at least not for the most part, I really did think he was an ass, I had written to her on MySpace (It was quite awhile ago after all)  and her boyfriend answered posing as her and it all blew up into this massive MySpace message argument. We haven't spoken since.
The next and last almost relationship that I had had its roots in the tenth grade. I was part of NAL at the time and we were at the championships against our rival school GAMP, I lead the presentation round, (I thought we did fantastic, I still think we should have won that round, it was only due to a judge's inability to keep time that we lost, but that is a tale for another day...), but that was when I first saw her, she was on their presentation round, I instantly became infatuated, but being the type of person I was back then I couldn't seem to work up the courage to ask her out...or talk to her for that matter. I used to always have problems talking to the girls who I really fell for. The next year we were back at the NAL championships, almost everything was exactly the same, and there she was again. I had no intention of loosing my chance this time so I went up to her after the game and gave some horrible line about discussing strategy sometime, a line which I still despise to this day. I gave her my card, and soon after we started talking on Facebook. We talked for a few months and were supposed to meet up downtown for dinner one night, but it kept getting put off for one reason or another and then she got braces, so we finally got together to see a movie that summer.
I'll never forget how she looked when she got there, she was wearing the most beautiful black evening dress that I have ever had the pleasure of seeing. I was dressed in shorts and a tee-shirt, needless to say I felt rather like a royal schmuck. But in the end it didn't matter, we wanted to see The Orphan, but she was 17 at the time, so I got us tickets to Julie and Julie, naturally the theater didn't label which movie was in which theater, so we spent a few minutes running through the two floors of theaters till we finally found The Orphan, we watched the movie, and when it was over we went outside and walked around for a bit while we waited for her mother to pick her up. While walking we talked and it was one of the most enjoyable conversations of my life. We continued to talk on Facebook, and then she invited me to the Halloween dance at her school, I went as the Mad Hatter, she ignored the fact that I existed for the majority of the evening as she tended to the party as the busy hostess, I did get to know some very nice people from GAMP while I was there, but I would honestly, have rather spent the time with her. We didn't talk as much after that, until, we saw each other once again at the NAL game, I wanted to tell her how I felt, I wanted to scream it from the rooftops, but I couldn't. I just couldn't bring myself to ever say something that might hurt the girl whom I adored so. So we both agreed that it had been too long since we talked, and we are still friends to this day, and every once in a while, when the moon is in the right phase, we get back in touch for a short period. An on and off friendship that will probably go on forever.
Naturally there have been crushes, before, during, and after these relationships, but nothing ever came of them, those were the only two that really mattered to me.
I sometimes wonder if there is something wrong with me, I just can't seem to find someone who wants to be in a relationship with me. Perhaps I am too picky, perhaps when people show interest I choose to ignore it, or perhaps I just can't see it, I don't know why more people can't just come out and admit their feelings for someone it would make things so much easier.
So here I am. Single. Caught in eternal loneliness, because while I have some of the best friends and loved ones in the world, there will always be the empty spot in my heart for which a romantic relationship is meant to fill. Perhaps one day I will finally find the right girl for me, I have to hold out hope, for without that hope, I am nothing.

From The Ashes

So after much thought, most of which has been in my head, which happens to be a fairly crowded place as it is, I have decided to start a new blog, I disowned my last one due to lack of interest, as well as unpolished writing on my part. This new blog will be a little secret, my little spheroid of the internet that I can call home, where only the people I really trust can see what I am thinking.
Hopefully this will help to clear out my thoughts and allow my brain to return to its normal level of brain-ness. So welcome to The Pandorica, the prison of sorts for all of my thoughts that I feel need expression, where they will remain for me to reflect on till the end of time itself.