Bellatrix

Some people just have a way of entrancing you so much, that you can't help but turn to mush whenever you so much as think about them. They can always seem to make your cloudy sky bright once more. You can't help but begin to think that destiny has been working on bringing the two of you together all along. Who knows maybe it has, only time will tell. Till then all we can do is hope.

Phoenix

I've had a revelation today. I've decided that there are certain parts of my life that need an overhaul, I'm quite certain that if I do not change these aspects of my life, I may not exist as long as I hope to. So this is it, I'm taking a stance, I will loose weight, I will no longer let things stress me out, and I will try to enjoy life more.
Don't worry I have no intention of changing myself entirely, just the little things. I still plan to laugh each and every day as much as humanly possible and I still pledge to help my friends and family anytime and anywhere no matter what they are going through.
I shall rise from the ashes of my former self like a phoenix, and be all the better for it.

Epiphany

People's lives are interesting. Think of your life as a line. Now think of everyone else's life as their own line. How often do you see each other, how often do you allow your lines to cross. Think of those with whom your line run almost parallel with, your closest friends or loved one's, meeting up with them at least once a day. Think of how much of an impact they have on you, it is usually more than you think of, but when you give it a thought, you can see just how much they influence you and vice versa.
There are also those with whom your life may pass only once, these people can have no impact at all on you or change your life forever, it is all just a matter of luck and circumstances in these cases.
And then there are those truly special cases. When you think of how often your lives touch you can imagine them as a double helix of sorts, with your destinies so deeply intertwined that you almost always bump into these people when you least expect. It is often these relationships that make us realize just how much we have changed in such a short time. And they can be some of the most interesting and satisfying relationships you will ever find yourself in.

In Neglect

Every time I talk to an old friend these days, I seem to notice just how long it has been since I last spoke with them. The intervals are becoming larger and larger, the gap widens and I fear I am loosing touch with some of the people I once held so dear. Is this really a simple case of cross-road friends. I know that some of these people fit into that category, some of whom I wasn't even that close with during the peak of our friendship. But it is the rest of the people that I refuse to believe are cross-roads friends. Living so far from those I care about has really taken a toll on these friendships.

I find myself having to be filled in on more and more of the happenings in Philly, and there is a part of me that dies a little bit when I realize just how much of my friend's lives I am missing. While I love the five people that I am really close to up here, and I could never imagine life without them, I miss seeing the others and the variation in conversations that we used to have. The different news that we would find to share with one another. The odd discussions that always seemed to bring the light out on the darkest of days.
I suppose it is in part due to the neglect of both parties, with neither of us checking in enough with the other. But I am going to try to stop the neglect (at least on my end) and check in on my friends more, because I really do care how they have been, and I want to be there for them, no matter what they may be going through at the moment.

From Snow That Melted Only Yesterday

This is the first day in a long time where the temperature has been above freezing. I can say without restrain that this is one of the most beautiful days I have seen in a long time. The snow that had long plagued us upon our lawns and benches has finally begun to melt away into to water which will nourish new life from these ravaged soils. Perhaps for once the groundhog was right about this early spring, perhaps it is only coincidence, perhaps this is only a sampling of spring, the eye in the storm that is the long harsh State College winter. No matter what the cause, today should be seen as a sign for all to appreciate life. A day this nice should not be wasted.
But since it is Valentine's Day today, many people will let this beauty go by unnoticed, either because they are too entwined with their lovers to see anything else or because they are so concerned with their feelings of depression and self pity on this day that celebrates the love shared between so many couples.
I refuse to let this day pass by unnoticed, I will live it to the fullest, enjoying every second of the beautiful air. If only all days could be this inspiring, with its perfect temperature, not so cool as to freeze one, but not so hot so that one may begin to sweat. It is quite simply the perfect day. Now get out there and enjoy it.

The Road Not Taken

Once again I found my self deep in self meditation, I could not help but wonder why I had ever chosen meteorology in the first place. Then I remembered to when the idea first popped into my head. When I was young, I had a habit of changing my mind as to what I wanted to become when I grew up, sometimes from week to week. I had wanted to be a teacher, a chef, a comedian, even a geneticist. And sooner or later, often sooner, I would find a reason why that job would not work for me and I moved on. Around the time I was in the seventh grade, my science class did a chapter on weather, I became enthralled, my infatuation with the subject grew and grew and while people doubted that I would stick to my choice I was determined to prove them wrong.
I genuinely was interested in becoming a meteorologist, at least back then, my infatuation with all things weather related lasted until I was in the tenth grade. By this point I realized I was loosing interest in the subject, more and more each day. But I could not bring myself to confess this feeling to anyone, how could I tell the people who had supported me for all these years, who had such faith in my meteorological skill, that I had changed my mind. "I can't wait to see you on TV one day," Nope, sorry, not going to happen now, but thanks for the kind words. So I kept up the charade and dug myself deeper and deeper into this pit of despair. "What does it matter?" I thought as I looked for a college with a world renowned  meteorology department, "I can always change later" or my favorite "I can learn to like it again."
I got to college and I decided that I would change once more, not entirely, I had rather liken most of myself throughout high school, I would only change the few things that I could not stand about myself, my shyness, my inability to stand up for what I believe in, my fear that if I did what I truly wanted to I would hurt those around me. So I did, I changed who I was once more, and once again for the better, growing as a human being. I had already taken my first semester, I saw what it would take for me to become a meteorologist, and frankly, it bored me to death. I loved the people that I met in the department, and I do hope to remain friends with them, but I know that it will never be the same kind of friendship that I have with my other friends, my truest friends.
So when it came time for my second semester at Penn State, I told myself that I would change my major by the end of the semester, and then I realized, here I was again, lying to myself, taking a path that I had no intention of staying on. So I decided that I would finally be true to who I really am. I would follow my passion of wanting to make a real difference in people's lives. And with that I switched my major to psychology, and so far I have been worlds happier for it.
My friends and family supported my decision in full, I don't know why I was so afraid to change. I've realized that anyone who doesn't support the idea of me doing what I enjoy, really don't care about me all that much, and honestly, they can take a long walk off a short cliff into the jagged abyss.
Here I am, on the road less traveled, by myself at least, and while I can not tell if the ending will be good or not, I can at least be comforted in the knowledge that I followed exactly what I wanted to do with my life.
I think Robert Frost said it best:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

The Mirror In My Mind

   A voice said, Look me in the stars
And tell me truly, men of earth,
If all the soul-and-body scars
Were not too much to pay for birth. 

~Robert Frost 

While I had some time to myself today, I did what I seem to be doing a lot lately and I reflected on my past. The first thing that I realized is that there is no single person who knows about my entire life, sure people know bits and pieces, often those that they were a part of and some of the surrounding bits that had to do with the time that I spent with them. But I have never really been able to tell anyone everything about me, I've just never been able to tell someone all of the details of my past, I can't seem to let anyone in that deep, to trust them as much as I would like to. Perhaps it is because deep down I know that nothing is forever, no friendship, no life, and there is no guarantee that I can trust someone to the degree that I would have to, to let them in on who I really am. There are days when even I don't know who I really am, so who am I to tell someone else? I wonder if I will ever find that person that I can truly and completely confide in. Only time will tell.